I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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