I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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