How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
