i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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