walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
