so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm just crazy horny about you
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
