what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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