So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
