so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
