she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
