bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
