it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
