some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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