I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Randomize
