I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
