every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
