I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
