I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
