Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
