ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I am available for nakedness
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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