I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
