it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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