Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I look better un-naked...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
