im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
And then my night got REAL pukey
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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