i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
