Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Michael Bay diarrhea
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
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