Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
