mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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