No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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