There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I think I just sharted jello shots
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
