Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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