drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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