I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
