you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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