eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
