walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
not ubering you a puppy
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
