i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
