Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
