If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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