I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
