yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
