Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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