we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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