found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
