okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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