dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
