she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
