I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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