i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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