i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
