His pubic hair was longer than his dick
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
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