Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
