i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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